Monday, February 11, 2019

Tori the Adult!

Last month Tori turned 18. Heavy sigh from her parents. Her siblings were not so sentimental and reminded her that if she committed a crime now, she would go to regular jail. All this was via text as Tori was out of the house earlier than usual on her birthday. A calculus test and the tradition is for the kids to start the test a bit before the regular start of school. A friend picked her up and they went in early and took the test. A bit like last year where she went in early and took a driving test. Either way, our girl needs more sleep and less tests, though she doesn’t seem to mind.
By Tori’s birthday all of her college applications were in and her high school semester was winding down. After school, we went for a walk with the dog, reminding me of birthday walks in Germany pre-dog. The dog definitely helps explain why we are walking in the cold but we enjoying looking at frozen things and chatting. The sky was clear and orange and the light lasted just a bit longer than the week before. When it was dark, we went to get a manicure. Tori got a shoulder massage and talked about all the books she would read when the semester was over.
At home, we celebrated with the family- dinner, presents and chocolate birthday cake. The twins were excited and Tori was excited. Adam reminded us of a time capsule, given to Tori by her godparents to be opened on her 18th birthday. Adam brought it out of the basement, while we marveled that we still had it after all of our moves in Tori’s eighteen years. The capsule had newspapers from her birthday and birth year, including a lot of 9/11 stuff, which all seemed more poignant as we now live very near NYC. There was a baby sock and a baby glove but best of all were letters from family and friends to Tori. Some were sad- parents and friends who are no longer living. Others were sweet- college friends writing about how we met, how they first heard of Tori’s arrival. One friend wrote of looking forward to Tori’s high school graduation and wow, it is almost upon us. All the people who put letters in the capsule are still in our lives and we are awed by their long-time support and friendship.
In time capsule mode, a list of a few Tori things, all in the past and fading fast. The little red shoe lost in Paris. The small mammal house at the DC Zoo. HKIS uniforms. The bright green “swim chick” cap. Climbing trees, all trees. The swing in her bedroom. The rope. The jump rope routines. Left handed softball mitts. Scooter rides to gelatto.  Trips to Munich for our afternoon combo of haircuts with Blair and burritos, at the only Mexican place around, followed by a stop at a good playground. Little movies made on Tori’s computer with the girls' stuffed animals acting out all the parts.I could go on and on. Having a kid turning 18 seems to do that to me.
We asked Tori’s godparents to write in life advice for her and they did; sweet, sincere, loving statements to carry her forward. I am not ready to do that yet though. Instead, I ask her to bake with me, or walk with me or shop with me. She usually says yes- it is the senior year second semester now. She has more time but we, me, she, all of us, are starting to think about what comes next on this adulthood journey.